Why I Voted Republican
I wrote the following as a tongue-n-cheek rebuttal to a Republican bottom dweller’s attach on me. Please read it for what it is.
Why I voted Republican?
*I voted Republican because
I am tired of Democrats always trying to take
care of the poor and middle class. If Republicans
always ruled we would still be able own a slave.
We wouldn’t be wasting our money taking care of
kids, seniors, disables, sick or – underpriveleged
Americans. (Even though everyone knows that the
original republican party was formed to abolish slavery. The
party didn’t because a tool of corporate America until the
end of WWI.)
*I voted Republican because
When I get married I want to own my wife.
Then I can stop her from voting
*I voted Republican because
I like wars to secure oil resources for private corporations
and I like high gas prices and record profits in hard times
*I voted Republican because
I like seeing my buying power decline along with
the value of my retirement, my stocks and my home
*I voted Republican because
I view freedom of speech as a license to
offend, insult, lie and misrepresent at will
*I voted Republican because
I don’t mind going to war on lies.
I don’t care how many civilians we killed or terrorists we created
I don’t think there were lessons to learn from Viet Nam
War, any war, is good for the morale of Republicans
War, any war, is good for the military industrial complex
*I voted Republican because
I want every dumb ass in America to have a gun
I think Police getting into shootouts is good training for them
I like a high crime rate because it creates jobs and redistributes wealth
without having bigger government
*I voted Republican because
I don’t care if global warming ruins the Earth
I will be dead by then and who cares about people
that haven’t been born yet
*I voted Republican because
I don’t care if we kill any more innocent death row prisoners
Anyway, I am sure they must have done something wrong
*I voted Republican because
I think illegal aliens should work for free for American Corporations
and any money they are paid in payroll taxes and SS taxes
should be given to Corporations to divide as they will
*I voted Republican because
I believe government should listen to big businesses
and do everything they say
I believe that small businesses should continue to operate
in an environment of unfair competition from giant corporations
and have a bail out plan ready, with highlights that include
closing their doors and seeking employment with their former
giant competitor
*I voted Republican because
I believe conservative judges will take us back to the
dark ages when men were men and women belonged to men
I believe conservative judges help us do away with every
law and program that assists women and minorities so there
will be more money for the poor abused corporations
*I voted Republican because
My head is empty and incapable of ever having an original thought
and the Republican party most closely emulates that characteristic
I want so much to be like Rush that I shoved my head way up his skirt
and just let him do all my thinking for me.
*I voted Republican because
I prefer my party to be as secretive as possible
I trust my Republican politician implicitly and
besides, too much information makes my head hurt and
interferes with my ability to hate everyone that Rush tells me to
*I voted Republican because
I believe that although the large corporations pay very little or no taxes,
it is still too much. I believe that Republicans can eventually make sure
corporations don’t pay anything to do business in the US
*I voted Republican because
I believe that Republicans can someday force every American child to
Pray to the Christian God whether their parents want them to or not
*I voted Republican because
I believe that it should be legal to beat gay people and intern them
in concentration camps.
And because I think it should be OK to kill people we don’t like.
Especially when my god tells me to.